“The Guido Effect” - part two!

Last week I told the story of Guido suspending time and space to alter reality.  This week my story is about  “The Guido Effect” as a gift that kept on giving.

After Guido died we prepared to sell the house and the usual deed search took place by the realtor.  To our horror we found a seven page attached communication between Guido and the county assessor. Surprise!

To my shock the communication initiated by my father turned out to be a request to have the house re-inspected.  Why? According to parsimonious Guido, the increased assessment was an outrage.  The jest of the letter described a house on the verge of blowing away in a small wind or suddenly melting.

His reasoning; the remodel which caused a higher taxation was unfair and should be changed. Guido logic was that at one time there had been a small roof leak and surely the walls were damp and therefore the entire structure unsound.

“How does one write such a letter with a degree of seriousness you ask?”  Because other letters in the past with equally creative rationales or irrationality actually worked.  His letters are works of art and will be shared down the road.  The whole point of the “Guido Effect” is to change unwelcome reality, which often was successful. (It worked with the IRS.)

The result was another inspection, which included compliments from the assessor “on the remodel, the bones of the house and the solid construction.“  Guido tried one final letter to challenge the decision.  It was far more operatic describing all the flaws of the house and the inequity of the final ruling on a poor World War Two veteran widow, living on a pittance.  Forget that the inspector had seen his unworthy shack. He without shame played all his cards. This one was one of his few campaign failures.

  

When Mimi, a friend, and our realtor shared the alarming information I launched into a rather loud aria.  “The Guido Effect” necessitated immediate chocolate, a drink, aspirin and deep breathing. 

Just to rule out any issues we called in an inspector and without leading the witness, had him go through everything.  His report was spectacular and he wondered why he had been called out.

We explained the “Guido Effect,” he being Italian, nodded his head and began a story.  Apparently growing up the family owned a summer cottage on a lake, located near a tiny private airport.  His father visited only several weekends during the summer. However, he launched an impassioned protest to shut the airport down and or control the hours of use, because it made living life on the lake “torturous.”

As the gentleman left handing us our sterling report he said, “we have all experienced the “Guido Effect” at some point in our lives it certainly makes life more interesting.”  

Finito

Next week a tribute, an ode and praise of the twenty-something’s.