“Connect and addict”

Not my words but those of a retail market analyst reporting on the growing trend of high-end fashion designers creating clothing lines for the “Baby Gap” demographic.

The objective being: create demand among mommies and kiddies while connecting with both.  Win the loyalty of the child and hopefully he or she will become addicted to high-end clothing lines.  The desire and need for designer duds will be instilled in consciousness at birth and last a lifetime.  This is the perfect model of a cradle to grave marketing plan.

In discussing this trend over the last few years with women who have “baby gapped” their children, they have expressed publicly their disdain of such conspicuous consumption.  I see it differently.

This whole endeavor is to create “mini me’s.”   It seems that there is a campaign to transform children into miniature adults.  Pushing babies into accelerated adulthood allows our expectations to change.  Children should not look or behave like children.  Wearing at age five a $1200 designer leather jacket or carrying a $1200 designer bag, which they can identify, makes them cognizant at an early age of being special, different, and entitled.   The perfect gift for baby, the gift that goes on giving. 

Is this trend much different from the train wreck reality TV show “Toddlers and Tiaras” where we dress, train, and expect beauty pageant babies to imitate X-rated porn stars?  When I listen to the show dissected with primness and contempt, I look around at how many munchkins look just like mommy and daddy.  At the moment their babies don’t have spray tans, hair extensions or false eyelashes, but I am sure a less trashy look will soon be available.

The grownup look for children is with us; who knows if it will stay.  As long as it is here, I expect to see “Americas Top Modelete” TV show the perfect complement to the franchise.  Coming soon, potential fashion designers will be competing to have their “Connect and Addict” clothing line showing in Macy’s, their ages 5 to 10.  Another group will be competing for a design show to host makeovers for a lucky child’s bedroom or playroom.  Just do the whole house; make mommy and daddy proud.

What I find so appalling is the child who lives and works on the children’s network television world, the child that suffers the indignities of living with stupid and embarrassing grownups, is now alive and well living in real households.  This child is no longer virtual but now resides in homes where he or she must lead adults out of sticky situations that useless parents are no longer able to manage, only to be saved by the children.

I guess it makes sense that at birth infants should start dressing as bankers, politicians, celebrities, pole dancers, life coaches, real estate or pharmaceutical sales people. With their enhanced maturity and perfect career looks the youngsters can support all the lame adults who will not be able to afford designer clothes for themselves and will be completely reliant upon children to give them life advice.