Super Name

The other day I happened to catch a reality show segment featuring the soon be the proud parents of a baby boy. Viewers watched the expectant parents create a name for their child the same way a company does when choosing a brand name.  These parents were searching for a name that when seen in print, on-line, and uttered out loud will tastefully scream - President of the World.

They did what all parents do when playing the name game; hire brand consultants.  Put 10 consultants in a room and have them find a name that evokes power, leadership and authority.  Mesmerized, I wanted to yell at them, “Choose me!   Give me your money!  End the search and name him Supreme Male Child of the ruling clan.”

The naming thing has always been important as parents, tribes, and civilization take into account the power of words and their effect upon the reader / listener.  The last article I read suggested staying gender neutral with straightforward names if you want your child to be an economic or political powerhouse.  Names for your consideration: Huntington Moneymaker, Vota Forme, Mundo Master and Above Reproach.

Avoid names that show too much creativity or seem like you were partying too much before signing the birth certificate. Creative names such as Star Spangled Simmons, Crayon Rizzo, or Portia Pluto might cause others to form a bias before the bearer of the name is ever meet (unless the child will be a celebrity).

The next step is to set up Baby’s Facebook and secure a domain name to track a lifetime of extraordinary achievements.  Don’t wait too long your choice may be gone, hint, register your grandchildren’s names now the good names are going fast.  (Honest)

With this in mind I am now hyper aware of dogs names because my dog has a Facebook page. Her name, Emma, seems so embarrassingly plain compared to the names of her dog friends.  I am in awe of the creative, original, and amusing names of her canine buddies. Now I have a bit of empathy for the name hunt and some guilt.

One night while up late painting I Looked at Emma and posed the question, “Emma it’s not too late for a new Facebook name to go with your new hip.  Bonita Bedazzled Bernese or perhaps Martini Chocolate Bernese, what do you think?” Suddenly her eyes opened, her head popped up and she emitted a huge dramatic sigh.  The paw was extended; in Emma Dog language that means speak to the paw.

                                            

  

So Emma will stay Emma, which I am pleasantly familiar with.  But I have to say; her friends have some fantastic names.  She isn’t jealous, just me.