Those pesky thank you notes, do we really need to write them anymore? We have so many faster, electronic ways to say thank you, should we so desire. And of course there is always the contemporary method of expressing gratitude -- silence. Silence can indeed be golden but not in this area of polite society.
Once we pass the wringing of the hands and gnashing of the teeth because of how rude the population is becoming and how little gratitude is shown, we need to review the purpose of the “thank you note”.
Little ones ask me “why do I have to write a note?” That part is simple; “because it is the right thing to do” and if all else fails I revert to, “because I am asking.” Not writing a note is a sure way to derail the gift train that kids love to ride. But I am more concerned about the big people who don’t understand or see the need to express appreciation.
Reasons people do not write a thank you note:
· Little ones were not shown the way and or not encouraged to send a thank you by parents who did not model or expect such behavior.
o For many grown children this has resulted in a missing page in the etiquette handbook.
· No time, too busy, no one else in our group does it, they know I appreciated (fill in the blank), and that’s just how we roll.
o Really, that doesn’t fly because everyone is too busy.
· My writing sucks and I am too embarrassed to put pen to paper.
o I too have sucky penmanship. After years of mockery and derision aimed directly at my illegible scribble, I took up printing. Nasty comments on school papers and the sad fact that I could not read my own writing led me to find that printing works.
· The honest and should be forgiven…I forgot, I meant to, thought I did, and a dog ate my stamp.
o We have all been there.
The purpose of gratitude: (preaching to the choir here but feel free to send this on)
· Let’s go basic first; it is a polite way to show appreciation. On a macro level it is one of many basic threads that hold our society together
· When people go to the trouble of having you as a houseguest, invite you to a special occasion, or do something extraordinary for you, they should know their efforts have meaning.
· On behalf of gift givers everywhere, they want two questions answered: did you receive the gift, and did you like it? When this topic comes up, and it often does,…what angers gift givers the most? Not knowing whether or not the person they were sending the gift to received it. Many generous relatives and friends who are separated by both physical distances and or emotional distances hope to maintain contact by sending notes and presents. Wilfrida’s lessons:
Make it simple and fun and start early!
With young ones make it a fun-learning lesson for life. Have the child draw a picture of the present. Talk to them while they are in the process of creation, let them know why it is important to thank others and how happy the person receiving their masterpiece will be.
Make it simple and make it short--3 sentences are adequate – more are fine, but not necessary.
1. Thank you for my gift ….fill in blank
2. I like it because … fill in the blank (if you hate it come up with something)
3. You were so kind to think of me/remember me on my birthday, wedding, fill in blank
Sincerely,
Wilfrida
My example comes from the heart!
Dear Wilfrida’s closet blog readers,
1. Thank you for reading my blog.
2. I so appreciate you taking time from all that you have going on in your busy lives to read my blog.
3. Your support and feedback has been motivating, again I thank you,
Sincerely,
Rita, daughter of Wilfrida
Share your favorite thank you and or your comments. Tinkerbelle, do you believe? Or is it a dying tradition that should be put out of its misery.
Share this blog with others, like me on Facebook, and send a note to someone thanking them for being in your life.
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