No Worries, Let Me Decide!

In the late eighties the song, “Don’t worry be happy,” was for a short time embedded in conversations and became a staple for comedians.  A lovely healthy thought given the choice between worrying about rogue meteors or giant spiders that could destroy earth.  Being happy is indeed a better option.  But we have now moved from a world of happiness to a world of, “no worries!”

The phrase, “no worries,” has been around for years.  I feel the words could have come to us from Australia, perhaps, on the soles of UGG’s.  Wearing UGG’s makes me feel less inclined to worry.  Wikipedia defines the phrase as, “do not worry about that, that’s alright, or sure thing.  In Australian speech it represents a feeling of friendliness, good humor and optimism.”

This repetitive and vacuous phrase has become a standard response for all age groups.  Failing grades, being rear-ended, getting bad service, late food, late guests, late planes; the stock response is always, “no worries.”  In such instances, “no worries,” does not represent, “a feeling of friendliness and good humor.”

Shift into reverse and find, “no worries,” is used to excuse bad behavior and is a way to block any further conversation.  “I said no worries” what more do you want from me?”  Say the two words to me and I immediately become worried.  Inquiring about a food order I placed 30 minutes ago that is lost or gone missing, watching the people behind me leave with their food, I am told, “no worries.”   

"Drink This Socrates - No worries."

Forced by need, not want, to visit a mall, I must find courage and call upon known survival skills… let the worrying begin.  The adventure starts with a plan, a map, a phone, and water.  Once the item is located, in hand, the hunt for life on the large remote retail planet commences. 

 Identifying another lonely adventurer, the question is always the same.  “Do you work here?  And have you seen anyone that works here today?”  Our last sightings of someone that might legitimately take our money and bag our items are shared as speculation replaces actual information.  In a corner, in a land far away are five - yes five humans passionately discussing who takes the next lunch.

I approach cautiously, not wanting to scare anyone off, and say, “I am sorry to interrupt you, but do you think you could take my money and let me leave this retail planet?”  Five smiling faces say in unison, “No worries,” and keep talking with each other while reaching for my credit card.

Perhaps mannequins are thin with unhappy faces because they were shoppers trying to escape and just gave up.  They became lost, hungry, and eventually dropped from exhaustion.  OMG let me list my worries; no food, no more water, my search for humankind has taken me though endless hidden places populated by former shoppers who turned into mannequins.

I am not alone in finding, “no worries,” irritating.  Much like the words, “calm down,” sound when one is on a rant.  It is used in situations where it makes no sense and has turned into a brush off, substituting for a real encounter.

The expression, “no worries,” causes me worry; it usually means worry on steroids, to borrow another beach watchword, “be afraid, be very afraid”.